When I had two children, I treasured each nap they took.  I knew it was only so long when mother had this luxurious quiet time in the middle of the day…as soon as they were asleep I raced to my crafts and sewed like mad so that I could have 3 little wall quilts to decorate my home with.  Overall, I enjoyed my time with the kidlets, experienced stress, and found time to teach them school or spiritual lessons, occasionaly braved stroller walks, or trips to the library, and went to the stream to throw rocks.  But one night as I lay in bed, the gravity of my task in motherhood came to the forefront.  I realized I was about to jump in a very time consuming and intense fire: full on full time motherhood….their synchronized naps would only last so long.   I calculated, and realized I would be intensely teaching for the next 20 years, if I had seven children, and focused on teaching them most intensely in the formable years of their life, up until eight years.  I wanted to be dedicated for those innocent learning years when they absorbed the most. (The following scriptures explain how children are innocent from sinning when young, thus very teachable.) (Moroni 8: 9-12 9 And after this manner did the Holy Ghost manifest the word of God unto me; wherefore, my beloved son, I know that it is solemn ^amockery before God, that ye should baptize little children.Behold I say unto you that this thing shall ye teach—repentance and baptism unto those who are ^aaccountable and capable of committing sin; yea, teach parents that they must repent and be baptized, and humble themselves as their little ^bchildren, and they shall all be saved with their little children.

11 And their little ^achildren need no repentance, neither baptism. Behold, baptism is unto repentance to the fulfilling the commandments unto the ^bremission of sins.

12 But little ^achildren are alive in Christ, even from the foundation of the world; if not so, God is a partial God, and also a changeable God, and a ^brespecter to persons; for how many little children have died without baptism!

Doctrine and Covenants 68: 27-28 And their children shall be ^abaptized for the ^bremission of their sins when ^ceight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands.

It was a fairly important chunk of my life, the next 20 years encompassing young adult to middle ages.  There was a lot I could do during this time before beauty and peak health fled me.  But I wanted to chose the better part, and trust in the promise that the eternities in the after life will afford for all that we sacrifice in this life to prioritize.  Though the thought of teaching the children intently was formadable and intimidating, I felt a portion of resolute and determination to not miss this one time chance I had.

I started with small things, to be more and more present for the children in their teaching and molding.  After some time, we developed a relatively simple habit of singing a hymn, reciting a short scripture, and reading/sharing a scripture story at breakfast every day, we called it our devotional.  This is a fairly simple habit to maintain, and alleviates fights at breakfast.  Sometimes we do this in the car when breakfast is on the go.

Recently, we developed a habit after breakfast where the children bring their dish to the sink, and next, sometimes brush their teeth   (should happen more). I often let them play a few minutes to rest from the hustle and bustle of morning routine while I tidy up the kitchen and then we proceed to each read our scriptures.   I read my scriptures and write my thoughts in a scripture journal while the children look at a scripture story book with pictures, and then they draw in their scripture notebooks pertaining to what they learned about. During this scripture time, I usually don’t read to them but let them have their own experience (except with the youngest tottler whom I usually read a little bit to.) This is a win win situation as they see me read my scriptures so I can teach by example, and they also have their own time with the scriptures…I admittedly appreciate the time built in my day to read the scriptures.  A blessed friend of mine shared this great idea with me!  Thank goodness for lovely friends!

An answer to prayer I recieved further iterates the brevity of our teaching time as mothers, and how important it is to devote and focus before it passes.  I prayed to the Lord, asking him to help me be prepared to receive child number four.  He had given Riley and I the inspiration to begin child making while in the sacred and peaceful temple months before, in June, which was many months away at that point.  June was coming up and my fears were coming to the forefront.  After I prayed,  I went and checked my email, and felt inspired by the Holy Ghost to read the email Katie my sister in law had thoughtfully sent: (It is a portion of a talk given by LaDawn Jacob entitled “Rearing Children in the Nurture of the Lord”, I was in tears as I read it.    I balled as I realized again, how precious and important this calling of motherhood really is:

“My dear grandmother, Anderson who passed away in 1976 had a great impact on my life. I would like to share a story with you that happened shortly after she passed away. Actually in March of 1978. About a year and a half after she had died. This happened to my cousin, Bonnie who’s father is my father’s brother. This story has made a great impact on my life. I hope that you will understand the spiritual ramifications of what she was telling Bonnie as well as each of us parents. Bonnie says, a few weeks ago my mind had an active spurt. I began to create and invent things. There were so many projects I wanted to work on and become involved in. Ideas for creative things seemed to be put into my mind one after another.  Ideas I knew would go places if only I had the time. Day after day went by and each one seemed more filled than the other with the relatively mundane duties of my life. There were dishes to wash.  Diapers to change. Fights to stop. Cooking, cleaning, and on and on. While my hands were busy with chores that took no thought my mind raced from one idea to another until it was literally bursting at the seams. It had been almost two weeks and I had not had a single moment to work on any of my projects. I was becoming increasingly frustrated. Finally, one afternoon I decided everything else would wait. I was going to work on my projects. I was going to spend some time for me. As I began some writing and planning my husband, Fred came in. I asked him his opinion of something.  He commented how can you get involved in something like this when there is so much to do around the house. Doesn’t that sound like a husband? His casual comment turned my life into a tailspin and depression set in. I felt I might as well resign myself to the fact that 90% of my life would be spent in doing what I had to do and the other 10% in doing what I ought to do. That would leave no time for doing what I wanted to do. I had chosen to be a mother. My children needed to have their noses wiped, their lunches made, their faces washed and their hair combed, and drinks and their baths. Is this what I had been born to do? Was my whole life to be spent in tedious routine just to get my children raised? Why did  the Lord give me all of this talent and imagination if it was all useless? Why was I trying to help my children grow up to be creative individuals if when they were grown they would spend all their time clearing the table, vacuuming, and sweeping the porch. It seemed such a waste. This was life?  Yuck.  It was about  10~30  one night and I was in my laundry room folding my next to the last batch of clothes. My days work was almost over. It never ended. Did it? I was very unhappy. I couldn’t seem to find a solution to my problems. Then the thought crossed my mind  that I had not yet asked the one who has all the answers. He had helped me many times before. Surely he would help me now. I closed my eyes and offered a silent plead for help. Suddenly, I felt the presence of someone else in my little laundry room. Who was it? I searched to identify the spirit  that seemed so familiar and sweet. Was it grandma Farnsworth? Fred’s mother? No, not him either. Not his father. Who was it? Grandma Anderson. That’s who it was. Grandma Anderson was there and I sensed she wanted to communicate  with  me. Well, go ahead I thought. If you can say something that might help. I sure need it. The next few minutes are  difftcult  to describe. She talked to me, but not in words that are spoken. It was a type of pure communication, where thoughts and ideas are flashed and instantly understood. It is difficult to write down an experience that has no words, but I will try.  First she said, “Bonnie, I can speak with authority because I have been through this life. I had 10 children.” A brief view of her children and their beautiful lives flashed in my mind. Each one strong in the gospel. Each one a pillar of love and service. Then she said, “Bonnie, as you near the end of your mortal life there is nothing that will bring you more joy, more celestial joy than your  children No creation. No book. No song. No success can begin to touch the joy of children properly raised.  The things which concern you are mortal and will come to an end. Your children are eternal.”

Secondly, she said, “To the Lord the most important thing in this life is to bring his children to a knowledge of him. So that they may live with him again. You can be. part of that work, Bonnie. But you must start with your own children.” Again, a picture of grandma’s children was flashed through my mind. And her grandchildren, and her great grandchildren. I thought of all the missions they had been on. All the church jobs they had served in. I thought of all the lives that had been touched and changed. The great power for good there was in this life because grandma had been a mother.  I tasted just briefly the joy she felt because of this work. Remember the scripture, “And if it so be that you should labor all your days and crying repentance unto this people and bring save it be one soul unto me in the kingdom of my father how great shall be your joy with him. And now if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me, unto the kingdom of my father how  great  will be your joy if you bring many souls unto me.” Grandma told me many other things too. Some of which I shall mention. She said, “I must be patient. There would be time for doing the things  I wanted to do. A time when my little ones weren’t so dependant upon me to fulfill their needs.  Someday, I thought, they will be able to blow their own noses. I should work slowly and carefully on my projects and the Lord would bless me if I would make sure that my home was running properly first. But most importantly she told me that the Lord loved me and cared about me. He wanted me to remain true and faithful. There was much work I could do in this kingdom. An eternity awaited me. With opportunities for creating which I couldn’t even imagine yet. She was gone and  I stood there all alone. Getting my clean laundry wet with my tears. I don’t the whole experience lasted more than a minute. But that’s all it took to turn me around and head me in the right direction.  I thank the Lord for answering my prayer. There are still messes to clean up, and walls to wash. But I don’t get discouraged. My vision has cleaned up. I remember what my sweet grandma told me that night in my laundry room. I appreciate Bonnie sharing that experience with me. I believe and have reflected that we just as my grandmother said, must have it affirmed in our minds over and over again that this work that we are engaged in is the most important work in this life. We, just as our father in heaven, are striving to help our children receive immortality and eternal life. We are part of that plan.

At times the sacrifice of motherhood seems too great.  It wears down the body, and the mind.  But each day, there is so much joy to be found.  We must see the catastrophies in the proper perspective.  What’s a little or a lot of spilled milk, (breathe, breathe) in relation to who these spirits are that we are rearing, what short time we have when they will wholey listen!  What an inspiring thought to glimpse at who they are in our Father in Heaven’s eyes, and to ponder who they have the potential to become in Him is magnificent.  Besides these children are so stink’n cute, they say the darndest little things that just make me smile every day, when I open my heart to enjoy their whimsical, random, charming, nonsensical, funny and dear childhood.  And just breathe when they fight like little cats and little dogs, in a big and ridiculous snarling tangle.